My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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