I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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