remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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