ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
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Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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