He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
