Only a mothe r could love this liver
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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