Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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