Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
