We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
