I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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