More tranny stories later!
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
