i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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