Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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