Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
