Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
