I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
