Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
