think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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