hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
