So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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