she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
