Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
