I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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