smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I did not marry a roomba.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
