But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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