i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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