I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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