did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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