This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Success! We fucked roommates!
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