Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
cat food counts as protein by the way
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
