i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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