Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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