now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
