Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i need some magic done to my vagina
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
