i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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