I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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