remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
