oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
