Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
