Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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