I haven't been this sober since birth.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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