I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
