So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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