she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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