It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
