so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
