If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
