You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Enjoy the penises
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
