Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Terrible idea I love it
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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