Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I met the friendliest cop last night
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
