Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
