he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
