I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
