Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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