oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
