I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
