I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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