Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Will you blow on my dice?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
